It’s About Connecting & Not About Perfecting

about connecting and not about perfecting


Hospitality – it’s about connecting and not about perfecting with your family and friends. Trying to have the perfect home or serve the perfect meal just is not achievable and it will only discourage you and keep you from showing hospitality. Perfection may be out-of-reach, but anyone can make a connection and that is all that the Bible commands us to do! It is about connecting and not about perfecting.


Let Thoughts About Connecting Block Out Thoughts About Perfecting


We moved into this home over 33 years ago and this home is a huge part of my heart because my girls were raised here. My heart desires that it also be home to the many others that come through here because it is where we will love them, care for them, listen to them, see them, feed them, and minister to every need that we can.  You do not have to be rich or have a fancy home to show hospitality. Remember, it is about connecting and not about perfecting. People just need a place to rest, to feel loved, and to feed themselves, physically and spiritually. Open up your home and your heart to all that come.


Here are a few things to remember:  


  1. Cozy spaces seem to draw people in and make them feel welcomed. Let your spaces come alive with different colors and textures.
  2. Depending on the time of year, have a cool refreshing drink or a hot pot of coffee waiting for your guest.
  3. If you are inviting others over in the evening, add a couple of soft-lit candles or lanterns to your décor. Even the battery-operated ones add a sense of warmth to a home.
  4. “Shop” your home and repurpose items from one spot to another. Move blankets and pillows from one room to another to change things up a bit. It will help you more than what your guest will even notice them.
  5. Add a fresh scent to your diffuser and have it going hours before your guest arrives. It gives your home a smell that says “Welcome, you are Home”!



Even if your home is not perfect, people can still be welcomed to it! I keep a folder of simple dinners because time is a short and my budget is small, but no one has ever left here hungry by the grace of God.


Hospitality is about inviting people into your life and your home.


Simple hospitality really can be “simple” as I talk about here in this article.  Hospitality is a chance for people to be loved and included.  This world is already making people feel different and alone. Follow what the Bible has told us –


The Bible states it this way: Romans 12:9-13, “Let love be without dissimulation…..v10, Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;. .vs12, Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; vs13, Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.”


So real Christian hospitality is not an option, it is what God commands. It is a chance for people to feel like part of your family. It is a chance for you to make memories to last for a lifetime.

Hospitality is not for me to show off for our guests. I would do a very poor job as it is.  Hospitality is a chance to connect with others and make a connection that will live forever. It is about connecting and not about perfecting



So how can we show hospitality? How can our homes become a safe place for weary souls that need some sort of connection rather than a home on display for our desire for perfection?


  1. Decorate Simply


Clean and decorate with the thought of “home” and to make a connection.

Ask yourself:

  • How can this space, no matter how imperfect it is, to be used for the glory of God?
  • How can I decorate to make others feel comfortable and ready to connect?
  • How can I use my space so that family feels comfortable and yet it welcomes others in?
  • How can I make everyone feel at home and relaxed in this space?


These questions will help you feel free to do what you want with your space. You can decorate in a way that family can inhabit the space and still have their preferences and then with others coming in, they still feel like they are being included in your ongoing story.


For me, this means not purchasing the fancy furniture, no matter how much I might like that look because I would be too concerned about other’s children playing on it. It also means that I do not have a coffee table because the decorations would be too much of a temptation to little hands and the parents might not relax and connect with us during their visit. I add a play area and add in lots of toys to keep little ones busy so mom can relax and enjoy her hot cup of coffee or tea.  I make sure I have a few homemade treats handy for the little ones to enjoy and keep them happy during our visit. Remember, it is about connecting and not about perfecting


Here is a great post for you to find some easy and fun recipes for gatherings.



  1. Clean Your Home with Joy


Your home is not to ever make you feel that it is not “magazine ready” like those on social media. Your family desires to have a clean home no matter if you have people over or not. So, clean your home daily, weekly, whatever is needed for your family, and try to clean with joy.


Remember that the Lord blessed you with this home every time you clean. You are cleaning for the glory of God and caring for the family that He has given you. Your home does not have to be perfect to be welcoming.  Right now, my kitchen floor has many broken tiles, and the cabinets could use some refreshing. But I feel this just gives it a “lived-in” feeling and people feel comfortable when I tell them they do not have to take their boots off before coming in. 


Your family does need a clean home but remember when you invite others over, it is about connecting and not about perfecting.




  1. It is About the People, Not About the Appearances


Use hospitality to serve others and not to impress them.


Instead of stressing about what the food looks like and what the house looks like, place your focus on what your guests need most from the gathering. Maybe they need a relaxing night of games to get their mind off their struggles. Maybe they need a heart-to-heart talk to let you know their situation. Maybe they need warm food and a place to crash. Whatever the situation is, try to focus on your guest rather than your home.


Do not focus on what would impress them, focus on what would bless them.


If you know how to make a stunning strawberry dessert that every guest is impressed by, but today’s guest’s favorite food is s’mores. Roll with that. Do what is a blessing to the individual in your home.


Love them well. Love them for the glory of God.


That will mean far more to them than perfection. Encourage them in the Lord and what He promises to His own.


  1. Keep the Meal Simple


Make simple, crowd, kid-pleasing meal and dessert. Clear away clutter so cleaning is easier. Put a pot of coffee on and have something for the children to drink if there are some. Maybe schedule a day at a park or sit in the yard and have a picnic lunch. Let the focus of your gathering be the connection with the person rather than the things you had to do to prepare for it. Showing hospitality does not always have to be at home but you ministering to someone in need is true hospitality.




  1. Pray for The Connection

By the grace of God, I really believe if you are focused on connecting with other people rather than perfection, genuine hospitality will flow. Pray for wisdom in how to best prepare for connection. Pray for the connections that will form through your hospitality. Then sit back and watch God work through those prayers and your simple efforts of obedience.


Let us know your thoughts on showing hospitality or if you have things that keep you from opening up your heart and home. We would love to chat with you about this topic here in the comments or on our Facebook page


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37 thoughts on “It’s About Connecting & Not About Perfecting”

  • Wonderful ideas! I loved the idea of having cold drinks or coffee ready and the electric candles. I have some and love using them to soften a room. Thank you!

    • Thank you for stopping by our place! And thank your comment about our ideas. Having people over is so good for both sides. And yes, with my allergies, I find the battery-operated candles are perfect! Come again soon to visit with us again!

    • So glad you stopped by and read our posts. Showing hospitality is so important nowadays. Have fun sharing your new home and remember it doesn’t need to perfect before inviting others over.

  • Love the idea behind connection rather than perfection! A well loved and lived in home will not typically be spotless and “magazine ready” as you pointed out!

    • I have found that most of the time my family and friends just need someone to visit with. I have talked about the broken tile floor in my kitchen and someone will always…” really, I didn’t even notice.”. They just need connection….not prefection. Thank you for stopping by!

  • Great article! I remember my parents always having certain things ready in case we had visitors. Pre-COVID, I always had something in the freezer to whip up for company. The smell of baking cozies up a home for me!

    • I love having something on hand for the drop-in visitors. I use to keep a can of apple pie filling and oatmeal cookies on hand. Place the cookies on the bottom of a glass dish, pour the apple pie filling on top and crumble a couple of cookies on top. Heat it up and you have a wonderful dessert in just minutes! Thank you for stopping by!

  • Enjoyed your article and the tips. Just want to mention, though, that people I know that have “magazine” homes and elegant furniture still have a welcoming feeling and/or “homey” feeling. Regardless of the type of home you have, simple, average, or elegant, I think what matters most is your attitude. I do understand making people comfortable, but love, kindness, and joy can be shared anywhere.

    • I do agree with you about the beautiful homes. Our whole point here on our site to encourage those who think their home isn’t “magazine” ready to go ahead and show hospitality. Our tag line is …Simple hospitality on any budget for any home…. Thank you for stopping by!

  • I grew up with a mom who would clean the whole time company was there…she still does this when I come home. I firmly believe that company would rather feel welcome than like a burden because the host is constantly running ragged 🙃.

    • We have had times where we wanted to visit more than anything and we didn’t care if they fed us grilled cheese sandwiches. It was the connection that we needed and that goes also when you have people over to your home. Sit down and connect with them. If you are needed in the kitchen still with the meal or snack, then invite your friend into the kitchen with you and offer to let them help. They will feel much better and comfortable if you just connect and visit with them. Thank you for stopping by!

  • I love so much that you are using your home to glorify God. It’s easy to see our home as a place of rest from the service work we do outside of it, but lately I have been trying to redirect my thinking. This is very timely 🙂

    • I am so happy you found our home here and enjoyed our posts. We will be praying for you as you find your way back to sharing your home with family and friends. So many people just need to connect and feel the love of God through someone who has God living in them. Thank you for stopping by!

    • Thank you! Yes, currently our home is really being LIVED in… LOL… We are remodeling right now, inside and out, and at times, I want to stop inviting people over but I have to remind myself of these very reasons of showing hospitality. Thank you for stopping by!

  • perfection when entertaining has been something i’ve struggled with, so thank you for the reminder of what’s most important. connections!

  • My husband + I are moving to a new apartment at the end of the month + I’m so happy I’m seeing your post now! I often think about what all we need to make it look so nice when it’s truly about the people inside of it! Loved having the ability to humbly come before the Lord to shift my focus.

  • Interesting perspective. I definitely do not have a flair for decoration, and feel a bit reluctant to invite others over (we’ve been in the house for 3 years, and I’ve managed to put two things on the walls).

  • Love this approach to hosting. I always love going to homes that are welcoming and “real” as opposed to perfectly staged. I try to welcome other in in this same fashion. We live in this home and we want our guests to be a part of our life. Great tips on how to do this simply.

  • Oh my goodness! I love this post so much! “Real” over “Perfect” are the vibes I love. I love simplicity. Thanks for sharing!

  • Thank you for this! I know I have been too afraid to host people out of fear that things wouldn’t be “perfect”. I know that I missed out on some encouraging conversations or even the chance to serve others. It’s definitely something I have been working on!

  • Thank you for these reminders to focus on what matters in connecting with people in our homes! Too often I don’t extend an invitation when I really want to because I feel the house isn’t “good enough” yet. I also love your idea of “shopping your home”! I did this recently to add some personal touches to a large wall by our staircase, and I love the outcome without a hit to my budget.

  • I absolutely enjoyed your article and tips. I often end up obsessing over decorations and furniture, but not for other people just because of my own “glam” taste. It’s nice to see the connection to God in this. Thank you again!

  • Love this post so much! I hope to have my own home soon and can’t wait to welcome my friends and family members over once that’s done. I will definitely remember these tips when that time comes. It’s about the connection indeed! I absolutely love how you connected everything to God as well. Even in the everyday things, like cleaning, offering it up to Him makes it so much more meaningful.

  • Thank you for this article! What a great and simple reminder that it’s all about connections. We were made for relationships and fellowship and to do everything as unto the Lord, even cleaning and hosting!

  • I love these! Great tipsfor building a connection with people and create a welcoming environment!

  • I understand God wants us to offer hospitality and it’s something I love to do. I usually am not that good at it. I worry my house is not clean enough or my food is not good. I should just clean my house and trust God with the rest.

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